My Personal Insight
As many of you know, I have been working a lot on my personal growth for some time. I recently discovered something about myself that I want to share with you in hopes that it may help some of you as well. It’s hard for me to believe that I never put this together until after many decades of soul-searching but, anyway, here we go …
When I was younger, my parents would say I was selfish. They wouldn’t just say that, they would actually call me “selfish!”
I didn’t realize at that young age that being called “selfish” would affect me the way that it eventually did. But through personal growth I realized that as a child when I called “selfish,” I did not understand that I was actually being selfish in certain situations. I just took the word as I was just a selfish human being on this planet and was selfish in everything I did.
I didn’t put this together until recently when I thought about being a nurse. It slowly dawned on me that that my desire may have stemmed from me not wanting to be selfish. How could I be called selfish if I take care of other people? Nurses are the most giving people, right?
I also realized that I interpreted selfishness as taking time for myself and taking care of myself. Therefore, I didn’t! I would grab food on the go and not exercise because to do so would mean that I was being selfish when I could be working and taking care of my family.
Now I know how the term “selfishness” affected me and why I did choose the profession that I did and why I now do the things that I do. Today, with this awareness, I can do something about it. I can eat foods that nourish my body; I can take time for myself and exercise without being selfish. I can set my boundaries on when I want to work without being selfish.
I know I’m always concerned when I hear people say Jillian, my daughter, is shy. I am hoping that she does not internalize that and use it as her identity just because she hears them saying, in certain situations, that she is shy.
I share these very personal insights with you and trust that you will take the opportunity to look inside yourself and see if there are any situations in your life that you have chosen as an identity that wasn’t true or perhaps created an identity by words you say in people you love.