Healthy Communications
The late comedian, writer and actor Steve Allen once had a group of individuals, each bilingual but no 2 with the same pair of languages, form a circle. In the televised event, he told a joke, in English, to the first one who then told it in a separate language that he and the third person shared. That person then shared with the next and so on until it came back to the host who heard the final translation in English. It was nothing like the original joke.
You might recall as kids we played a similar game called “telephone” where a message goes down the line and what comes out on the other end is a completely different message. And that was all in English!
Unfortunately, such miscommunication happens often in our profession.
When there is clear communication between members of a nursing/ healthcare team, there is less chance for upsets to occur. When people communicate with us, we usually form an opinion about the message. If it is a clear communication, there is less opportunity to form a negative opinion.
I received a communication charter used by a corporation that I admire and respect, which I would like to share some of the concepts with you. As with anything new, it may feel uncomfortable at first in implementing it but keep trying because it will be well worth it.
1. If you have an upset, go to the person within 24 hours and talk to them or at least schedule a time in which to talk to them. If you are unable to see them in person, send an e-mail to let them know that you would like to discuss the matter.
Do not gossip! This will neither help nor make a difference. Go directly to the person with whom you are upset rather than gossiping because the other person can’t make a difference.
2. Facilitate the conversation by letting them know the positives such as “What I respect about you…” or “What I appreciate about you…” And then state, “Here is where I need your support” or “Here’s what would work better for me” or “Here’s how you can support me” or “Here’s what feels better to me.” By asking the other person for their help and support, it will go a long way.
3. If you are on the receiving end of this communication, you can respond by saying, “I hear you,” or “What I hear you saying is…,” or “I take responsibility for…”
4. Never coach a person, give them feedback or your opinions unless you first ask their permission. So, say something like, “May I give you feedback?” or “May I share my opinion?” But wait for a response before proceeding.
5. With promises and/or requests, set yourself up to win! When making a promise or request, always use the “I will do THIS by THAT time frame” with a condition for a fulfillment. That way, you will know that you’ve been heard and the other person knows that they have been listened to.
6. Be responsible. Appropriate responses for requests like “I think this is a good resolution” or “I promise to respond by this time,” or “Can we do this instead?”
7. Listening is a valuable tool in communication.
a. listen for the possibility or the unknown in what someone is saying,
b. listen for your listening. We all use filters in our conversations. What filters are you using?
c. be responsible for who you are being and how you are listening.
8. Be your word. When you say you are going to do something, do it! If you are going to break your word, let that person know immediately.
By keeping your word, this allows the person to feel honored and acknowledged.
I hope you try these techniques and may even implement a policy where you work. For the company that I mentioned, this has been a life-changer for the culture of the corporation.
Does your work environment have a communication policy? If not, do you think it would be beneficial? Please leave your comments below.
