It’s Not Selfish—It’s Survival: Why Nurses Must Start Giving to Themselves

They told us it would be hard. But they never told us that in the pursuit of saving everyone else, we might lose ourselves.

As nurses, we are hardwired to care (it’s in our DNA)—for our patients, our colleagues, our families, and sometimes even strangers on the street. We are taught to push through exhaustion, set aside our own pain, and “just do what needs to be done.” And we do it. Day after day. Shift after shift. Code after code.

But somewhere along the way, we forget that we are human too.

We don’t hesitate to stay late for a coworker, take on an extra patient, or skip lunch to help a family understand their loved one’s prognosis. Yet we feel guilty for calling off when we’re mentally depleted or using our PTO for a real break instead of just running errands.

Here’s the truth we need to say out loud: Taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s essential.

You cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot heal others when you’re hurting inside. And you cannot give your best to anyone if you’ve given all of yourself away.

When nurses neglect their own needs—physical, emotional, and spiritual—we see the fallout: burnout, moral distress, compassion fatigue, even medical errors. We suffer. Our patients suffer. Our families suffer.

Self-care is not a luxury. It’s not bubble baths and lattes (though those are lovely). It’s boundaries. It’s rest. It’s therapy. It’s saying “no” without guilt. It’s recognizing that you are a person first and a nurse second.

So if you need permission to stop doing everything for everyone, here it is: You’re allowed to put yourself first. You’re allowed to go home on time. You’re allowed to say, “I’m not okay,” and get help. You’re allowed to matter.

Because the world doesn’t just need nurses. It needs whole, healthy, human nurses—starting with you